Randomness Archives - Page 4 of 8

Birth bureaucracy

December 29, 2024December 22, 2015 by Neil Turner

Because humans are awful, after you’ve undergone ‘the miracle of birth’, you or your partner will have some paperwork to do. Whilst living in the UK means that we don’t have to go through any health insurance paperwork, there are some formalities that have to be completed after your baby is born.

Although our bundle of joy isn’t quite here yet, I have spent some time looking into what we need to do after he/she/they decides to arrive in the world.

1. Register the birth

Once the baby has been born, you or your partner has 42 days to formally register the birth. This makes sure that the child ‘exists’ from a legal perspective (I think – I’m not a lawyer). It should be done in the district where the child is born, at a register office run by the local council. For us, that’s with Calderdale Council in Halifax, provided that our child is born as planned in our local hospital.

Each council will handle things differently, but you’ll probably need to make an appointment, rather than just dropping in. I’d suggest looking on your local council’s web site to see what their arrangements are.

Traditionally, registering the birth has been the job of the father of the child, but in this enlightened age, either the mother or her partner can do so. Before you go, you’ll need to have chosen and agreed a name for the child. Don’t do what my grandfather did: he forgot the name on the way to the register office, and as this was the age before mobile phones, he just put down what he thought was correct. So my aunt ended up with a different name.

You’ll also need to wait until the child has been born – you can’t register a birth if the birth hasn’t actually happened yet. However, you don’t need to wait until a child has left hospital; indeed, if your baby needs special care, it may need to spend more than 42 days in hospital.

Once the registration is done, you will receive a short-from copy of your child’s birth certificate, which you’ll need for the next step. However, you’ll also have the option to buy a full certificate, which includes your details (and those of your partner, if applicable). I would recommend buying the full certificate, for reasons that will become apparent later on in this blog post.

2. Claiming child benefit

Currently, the British government will pay you £20.70 per week to look after one child, plus an additional £13.70 per additional child. Nowadays, this benefit is paid every four weeks into your bank account. The amount you get is fixed at one of these two amounts – it’s not income-assessed, so you will receive the same money regardless of how much you or your partner earns.

You can download the form from the gov.uk website. When you’re in hospital, you may get accosted by a representative from a company called Bounty who will offer the forms as part of a pack, in return for your (and your baby’s) personal details. I’d suggest asking the Bounty rep to live you alone, to give you time to bond with your new baby in peace, and then print off and complete the form yourself. The completed form then needs to be sent by post with your child’s birth certificate – this has to be the original, so photocopy it first before you post it.

If you’re well off, you can choose not to claim the benefit, but you should still send the form off. This will benefit you as a parent, as it will ensure that you get National Insurance credits during any time off work, thus avoiding any shortfalls when calculating your state pension entitlements at retirement. It will also benefit your child; completion of the form will mean that he/she/they will get a National Insurance number at age 16.

Although Christine and I are reasonably well off, an extra £89 per month will be very welcome. It doesn’t sound like much, but it’s effectively a small pay rise for you.

3. Informing your employer

If you’re working and taking maternity or paternity leave, you should have informed your employer long before the birth of your intention to take leave. And, if your baby arrives on time, you probably won’t need to do anything. However, if you give birth early – i.e. before the start of your agreed maternity leave, you’ll need to speak to your employer to get them to move your maternity leave forward.

4. Getting a passport

This third step is optional, and only necessary if you plan to go on an overseas holiday with your baby.

In ye olden days, children could travel on their mother’s passport. Nowadays, every travelling person must have their own passport, even if that person is tiny and very new to this world. Instructions for how to apply for a child passport are on gov.uk. You will need that full birth certificate that you should have paid for when registering your child’s birth at the council register office. You’ll also need to get your child to stay still long enough with their eyes open to get a photograph. Unlike adult passports, child passports are only valid for five years.

5. Do a benefits check-up

The arrival of a child into your household, especially your first, can affect your eligibility for various benefits. Some, like Child tax Credits, may become available to you for you for the first time, but your eligibility for others may cease. When you register the birth, your registrar may mention a service called ‘Tell Us Once’, which allows the council to pass your details to various other government agencies, to re-calculate any benefits payments. If not, you may need to speak to your local Job Centre, and HM Revenue & Customs.

I would also use the Benefits Calculator on MoneySavingExpert.com, to see if there’s anything else that you can claim, however, it won’t cover everything.

If you’re on a lower income or already receiving some benefits, you may be entitled to a £500 Sure Start Maternity Grant to help with the costs of buying equipment for your baby. It’s a one-off grant that doesn’t have to be paid back. You can download the form, print it off, complete it, and then return it by post, or to your local Job Centre. If you need any more help with the cost of parenting, I would recommend booking an appointment at your local Citizens Advice Bureau.

Becoming a parent seems to be a rather daunting thing, and when faced with the prospect of looking after a tiny, helpless human child, the thought of completing paperwork is probably the last thing on your mind. Sadly, in the modern world, it’s something all new parents have to do, and that’ll include us soon.

Dara Ó Briain’s Crowd Tickler

December 29, 2024November 13, 2015 by Neil Turner

dara6 — *Dara Ó Briain at the 2014 Festival of Curiosity, by Sandra on Flickr. CC-licensed.*

Wednesday last week marked 30 months of marriage for Christine and I. Co-incidentally, the Irish comic Dara Ó Briain was performing his latest show Crowd Tickler in Halifax on the same day, and a handful of tickets were still available the week before, so we went to see him.

This was the second time we’d seen Dara in Halifax; we also saw his previous show, Craic Dealer, a few years ago. If I’m honest, I was a bit disappointed with Craic Dealer, having not found it as funny as some of Dara’s other material. We’d seen This is the Show (or ‘TITS’ for short) broadcast on TV, which is worth watching as and when it’s available, and we always make time to watch Mock the Week when it’s on.

Fortunately, Crowd Tickler is a great show. It’s part-improvised, based on interactions with the audience and some local factual knowledge that Dara has gleamed either through research or previous visits. If you get front row seats to one of Dara’s gigs, expect to be asked a number of questions throughout the show. Thankfully, Dara isn’t the sort of comedian to utterly ridicule you but there may be a few laughs at your expense.

My favourite routine was about TV dramas, particularly on streaming services like Netflix, and how there are so many and that they can sometimes tend towards the utterly ridiculous – ‘a Scandinavian crime drama about a detective who smells crime scenes!’. Which was funny in itself, until Dara pointed out that this is basically the plot of Marvel’s Daredevil.

And then he went about improvising our own crime drama, based on audience suggestions. So we ended up with a detective with Tourette’s who used to be a taxidermist, investigating a ping pong player who killed someone with a rollerskate.

Another of my favourite routines of his was about tunnel boring machines. Doesn’t sound like the most interesting subject but if you see people tweeting him ‘Poor Chuggy!’ after a gig, then you’ll know why.

Crowd Tickler is almost at the end of its run with only a few more shows left – Dara has been touring it for over a year now. There’s just a couple of UK dates, a few nights in Dublin, and then he’ll be off to tickle various European nations in the new year. Fortunately, a DVD of the show is due out in a little over a week (sponsored link), and based on what we saw, it should be a very good show to watch.

Going back in time

October 25, 2025October 26, 2015 by Neil Turner

Yesterday, clocks in Britain went back an hour, marking the end of British Summer Time. We’re now following Greenwich Mean Time, through the winter until the 27th March 2016.

It used to be that people would have to change every clock manually, when daylight savings time started or ended. But as computers and devices got smarter, they could be pre-programmed to change the time automatically.

My parents’ first PC originally didn’t change the time by itself, as it wasn’t supported in Windows 3.11. But we later upgraded to Windows 95, and I was pleasantly surprised to see a message one morning on the screen, telling me that Windows had automagically changed the clock for us. Later versions of Windows just did the time change on the quiet, and most other operating systems do the same nowadays.

We’re now in that stage of technological innovation where some of our devices can change the time automatically, but not all. Our phones, computers and tablets are all capable of it. Our Freesat satellite TV set-top box just needed turning off and on again to update the time. Even my Fitbit Charge changed automatically too, which was nice.

I still had to manually change the central heating controls, though. We’re planning to get a new central heating system sometime in the next couple of years and I expect we’ll get a smart thermostat which will have daylight savings capability, so changing the time for heating won’t be an issue in future.

The only other device that I had to change was our basic analogue clock in the kitchen. Short of wiring up some kind of Arduino device to it, I doubt I’d ever be able to make it change automatically.

Still, it’s nice not having to spend all morning re-programming things like we did in the past.

Hey, Rug Doctor, give us the magic words!

October 25, 2025October 19, 2015 by Neil Turner

On Wednesday, we will finally give back the keys to the flat that we’ve rented for the past four-and-a-half years. As with most tenancy agreements, we’re required to give the flat back in a clean, tidy state, and so we spent most of Saturday cleaning.

Whilst we had vacuumed the carpets… occasionally in that time, at no point had they been properly cleaned since we moved in. So, we hired a carpet cleaning machine.

Hiring a Rug Doctor

Our local Tesco allows you to rent Rug Doctor machines: £23 for 24 hours, or £29 for 48 hours. You have to book in advance, although the night before is fine, and you can do it online or by phone. The rental charge is paid upfront, and in return for your fee you get an email with a code and locker number at the location selected.

When you go to pick up the machine, you find the Rug Doctor display, open the locker with the code given, and collect the machine, a handheld tool for stairs and corners, and an instruction book. You also need to buy the detergent at this point which you pay for at the checkouts; it’s £10 for a bottle that does 1-2 rooms, £15 for a bottle that does 3-4 rooms, and a larger £20 bottle.

Using the Rug Doctor

The Rug Doctor machine is quite heavy and bulky, and although it’s quite easier to move on flat surfaces, good luck getting it up stairs. However, it does the job well – you can see the difference in the photo (the light-coloured bits have been treated). It works by spraying the detergent, mixed with water, on the carpet and then brushing it. It also incorporates a vacuum to suck up the dirt. You end up with a tank full of dirty water to flush away.

It’s quite quick – you can probably do most rooms in about 20 minutes, although we found that our carpets needed two treatments as they were particularly mucky. And you will need a lot of warm water – the Rug Doctor machine requires regular top-ups and we probably went through at least 20 litres of water.

Because we had the machine for 24 hours, we also had time yesterday to clean some of the carpets in the new house. These were cleaned in the summer by the previous owner before we moved in, but they’ve ended up mucky thanks to all of the disruptive renovation work we’ve had done since. Although the carpets have been vacuumed several times, I was surprised just how much muck came out after just a few months. As an asthmatic, I’m supposed to minimise my exposure to dust and yet there was still plenty in the carpets that our vacuum cleaner couldn’t remove.

Being able to get the machine from a local supermarket was really helpful, as supermarkets tend to be open long hours and at weekends. Our local hire centre, for example, is only open until 5pm (no good for us as we’re not home by then) and is shut at weekends, so we’d have to rent their machines for longer. Although we rented ours from Tesco, it looks like they’re available at some Asda supermarkets as well.

I was impressed by the Rug Doctor – it was quick, and the results were great. Hopefully the landlord will agree when we give the keys back this week.

For those who don’t get the reference in this blog post’s title, have a YouTube video.

Recycling

October 25, 2025October 8, 2015 by Neil Turner

Now that we live in a house, rather than a block of flats, Christine and I are back to regular collections of waste in recycling. In the flats, we had access to a bin store where we could dump rubbish at any time, and this was collected by the council at regular intervals. For a time, we also had recycling bins for glass, paper, metals and plastics, although these were removed. Sadly our fellow residents were not so good at sorting their waste and our local council took the bins away due to contamination with non-recyclables. In the meantime I had to take our recyclables to our local supermarket to dispose of.

For waste from our house, our local council collects our wheelie bin every two weeks. Historically all councils have collected waste weekly but many have switched to fortnightly collections – a controversial stance that central government were opposed to. However, we still have a weekly recycling collection; in other words, one week only recyclable will be collected, and the next week all waste will be collected.

This suits us quite well, as a lot of our waste can be recycled. We’ve got into the habit of separating our waste before we dispose of it and so it only takes a few minutes each week to put these into the relevant bags or boxes and put them out for collection. As well as metals, paper, glass and plastic bottles, our council will collect food waste and textiles each week.

Separating food waste from regular waste, to me, is really important. Food waste can usually be composted, and it’s the main cause of bad smells and flies in regular waste, so it’s good that this can be collected weekly. We get a small caddy for the kitchen, and then a larger box to put out to collect, along with a series of green biodegradable bags.

Whilst we’re just a household of two people, for now at least, because we can recycle most of our waste, we manage not to fill our wheelie bin, even after two weeks. And, as an extra incentive, our local council offers entries to a monthly prize draw to those who put out their recycling every week, via a sticker with a QR code on our recycling box.

Recycling and sustainability are key at my workplace as well and we’re actively encouraged to recycle as much as possible, rather than simply chucking things in the bin. To this end, all offices have recycling bins within easy reach; you just have to think for an extra moment about which bin is appropriate for any given item.

It’s with this in mind that I read this piece on recycling in the New York Times. It makes some interesting points, but is very much focussed on the situation in the US, and not here in the UK. The US is a much bigger nation with more landmass available for landfill sites, and no tax on landfill. Here in the UK, we’re a significantly smaller island with a much higher population density, and more opposition to landfill sites which are more likely to be in someone’s back yard. Consequently, we have landfill tax to make recycling more attractive and cost-effective than simply dumping waste in big holes in the ground.

I’m happy to do my bit to reduce our household’s waste and footprint, and I’m pleased that my local council gives me this opportunity.

Secret Starbucks Sizes

January 2, 2024July 7, 2015 by Neil Turner

If I had a pound for every time someone spelled my name like this, I'd be a rich man

Many frequent Starbucks visitors know that its coffee comes in three sizes:

‘Tall’, which is the small size, at around 350 millilitres (12 US fluid ounces), or about the size of a standard drinks can.
‘Grande’, which is the medium size at 470 ml (16 US fl oz) and a bit less than an average drinks bottle.
‘Venti’, which is their largest size at 590 ml or 20 US fl oz. ‘Venti’ means 20 in Italian, hence the name.

Quite why they can’t use ‘small’, ‘medium’ and ‘large’ is beyond me, but never mind.

But actually, there are seven sizes in total. They’re not widely advertised, but here they are:

Short

If you look more closely at the menu the next time you’re in Starbucks, you’ll see there’s a kid’s hot chocolate on there, which comes in a ‘Short’ serving size – smaller than ‘Tall’. However, your Starbucks barista may be able to make you any hot drink in the ‘Short’ size, which will cost a bit less than ‘Tall’. I don’t think cold drinks like Frappuccinnos are available in the ‘Short’ size in the UK, but you can ask. ‘Short’ is 240 millilitres (8 US fl oz) and should be available in most outlets.

Mini

This one is US-only, and is a limited-time offer for this summer. It’s only for Frappuccinos, and is 10 US fl oz (300 ml) – halfway between short and tall.

Demi

Demi is the smallest size of them all, at just 89 millilitres (3 US fl oz). It’s basically a single espresso shot, and should be available in most Starbucks outlets.

Trenta

Finally, if you want a drink that’s larger than ‘Venti’, then try asking for a ‘Trenta’ size. It was announced four years ago in the US, but was primarily for the Refresha range of light cold drinks. However, theoretically, it may be possible to have any other cold drink in this size. At over 900 millilitres (31 US fluid ounces), this is a big drink – almost three times the size of a ‘Tall’ drink. As far as I am aware it was only ever available in certain outlets in the US, and as the Refresha range has seemingly been phased out, it’s probably no longer an option. ‘Trenta’ means 30 in Italian.

Starbucks ‘secret menu’

If you want to know more about ‘off the menu’ drinks that may or may not be available at your local Starbucks, Starbucks Secret Menu and Hack the Menu were two web sites that I found during my searches. Not all of the items on these sites are official, but if you’re in a Starbucks outlet and it’s not busy, you can probably ask the barista to vary the drink based on the recipes listed. You can also sometimes get seasonal drinks like the infamous Pumpkin Spice Latte out of season if the outlet has stock left over, and sometimes new drinks are available to Starbucks Rewards customers before they appear on the menu.

I go to Starbucks quite a lot nowadays, as I pass one of their outlets on the way to work. So much so that I’m a gold member of Starbucks Rewards. Considering that, four years ago, I didn’t drink coffee at all, it’s quite a turnaround.

May 25th

May 18, 2024May 25, 2015 by Neil Turner

One thing Wikipedia is good for is finding out what happens on a particular day in history. For example, on May 25th:

1878 – Gilbert and Sullivan‘s H.M.S. Pinafore opens in London.
1895 – Oscar Wilde is sent to prison for “committing acts of gros s indecency with other male persons“.
1953 – The first public television station in the United States officially begins broadcasting.
1977 – Star Wars is released in cinemas.
2011 – Oprah Winfrey airs her last show.

It’s also International Missing Children’s Day, Africa Day, Geek Pride Day, National Tap Dance Day and Towel Day.

And famous birthdays include Jonny Wilkinson, Cillian Murphy, Demetri Martin, Princess Laurentien of the Netherlands, Mike Myers, Anthea Turner, Julian Clary, Paul Weller, Alastair Campbell, Eve Ensler, Catherine G. Wolf and Ian McKellen.

Plus, a not-so-famous birthday: mine.

Moby Dick! The Musical at the Bradford Playhouse

December 29, 2024March 6, 2015 by Neil Turner

Next week, Christine and I will be part of a production of Moby Dick! The Musical at the Bradford Playhouse, along with the rest of BUSOM – The Bradford University Society of Operettas and Musicals. Christine is the producer and has a minor acting role, and I will be a part of the technical team.

If you’re like me, then this may be the first time you’ve heard of a musical theatre adaptation of Herman Melville’s famous book. The musical version dates from the early 1990s – it had a brief run in London’s West End at the Piccadilly Theatre, but closed after a four month run due to poor reviews. Don’t let that put you off though.

Moby Dick! The Musical is essentially a meta-play – a play within a play. It follows the girls of St Godley’s School – faced with closure, they put on a performance of Moby Dick to raise money to save the school. Whilst the cast is predominantly female, the role of the headmistress/Captain Ahab is usually played by a male actor in drag.

Christine has been working on the show for months now and it’s been great to see it come together. There’s just a few more rehearsals before it opens on Thursday night, with further showings on Friday and Saturday.

You can buy tickets online – they’re £10 each, or £8 for concessions. If you’re local to Bradford, it would be great if you can come along and support the students who have worked so hard to put on this show. I hope I’ll see you there!

The Brontë Garden at Sowerby Bridge station

September 28, 2024September 16, 2014 by Neil Turner

Last month a new garden was officially opened at Sowerby Bridge railway station. It’s called the Brontë Garden, and is maintained by volunteers from the Friends of Sowerby Bridge Railway Station. It sits on a small parcel of land next to the car park, opposite platform one.

The name comes from the station’s slightly tenuous link with the Brontë family. The Brontës hail from over the hills in Haworth, in the Worth Valley, but one of the Brontë siblings was employed at Sowerby Bridge station at its time of opening in the 1840s. He was Branwell Brontë, brother of the three famous sisters Emily, Anne and Charlotte. He was later appointed at another station further up the line at Luddendenfoot – this station succumbed to the rationalisation of the railways in the 1960s and no longer exists.

The Brontë Garden at Sowerby Bridge railway station

The garden isn’t particularly big but does house a bench and small gravelled area, along with some planters built using old railway sleepers. There’s also a restored luggage trolley, with opened suitcases serving as planters.

As well as the garden, the Friends of Sowerby Bridge Railway Station look after various other planters on the platforms, many of which are sponsored by local businesses. It’s a relatively young group, having only been formed in November 2010 (co-incidentally about the same time I moved to Sowerby Bridge). Whilst they are a voluntary group, they’ve done quite a bit to make the station look nicer – a hard ask, thanks to its brutal concrete architectural style.

The Ice Bucket Challenge

December 23, 2024September 5, 2014 by Neil Turner

One of my lovely friends nominated me for the ice bucket challenge earlier this week. You probably know the score by now, but the idea is to raise awareness of amyotrophic lateral sclerosis, or ALS – more commonly known as Motor Neurone Disease (MND) in Britain. Throwing a bucket of ice water over yourself is supposed to simulate the effects of the condition, which is terminal and normally kills its sufferers within a few years of diagnosis. There is no cure. One of my colleagues died as a result of MND a couple of years ago.

Whilst the idea is that, after being nominated, you have 24 hours to donate or be drenched in ice cold water, thankfully most of my friends have been doing both. I’ve donated £5 to M otor Neurone Disease Association. I’ve also donated £5 to WaterAid; whilst us westerners can chuck water around as it’s in plentiful supply, there are many in the world who can’t because there isn’t enough to go around. And donations to WaterAid made in the next week or so will be matched by UKAid, so they’re worth double.

Originally I planned to do this outside – however, as we’re four floors up in our flat it would have been a long, cold walk back so I did it in the shower. My wife Christine, whose laughter you can hear in the video, filmed it on my iPhone 5 using the stock camera app. It really was very, very cold – hence why I got the name of the MND Association wrong.

This was the first time I’ve ever edited a video. I used iMovie ’09 as it was already on my Mac, and apart from one tutorial to do the silly bonus replay at the end, all the editing was done just by exploring the app. It’s reasonably intuitive. The music was from Free Music Archive. I edited out the bit about nominations, but those of you who are friends with me on Facebook can see the uncut footage on there.